Like this:

Do we constantly have to re-evaluate our friends and whether the relationship we have with them is reciprocal and beneficial for both involved?

I just want to take a few minutes to talk about a few friends of mine.  They are a group of gay men that live together just a short distance from where I live.  We used to get on very well and I have known these friends for ten years.  I used to visit my friends very regularly when I was not working or during my time at University.  However, now that I’ve completed my studies and I’m working in an excellent job, I don’t see much of them.  They tend not to call or visit me, but when I visit them they talk about how they haven’t heard from me in a while.  It makes me slightly mad and I feel like telling them that they have fingers for dialing numbers and they have a phone that works….I’m at the other end of it!

I do try to keep in contact with them, but striking that balance between work and personal life can be difficult at times.  My job is particularly demanding of my time and I tend to bring a lot of it home with me.  Is it that they don’t understand because they don’t work or is this just me being pretentious?  I dont think I am, but feel free to correct me.

My friends have started to get on my nerves lately.  It’s not just the fact that I don’t see much of them lately, but also the fact that when I do see them, they whine on about how crap their life is and how low they feel.  You try to help them out and give advice, but it gets thrown back in your face.  I think I’ve just about given up on trying to help them out.  After all it’s their choice! 

They have chosen to ‘work the system’ (benefits system) and claim everything that they can as they would rather not work for a living.  It’s not that they can’t work due to a disability or some health problem.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people who are unable to work, but these guys just couldn’t  care less about working and making a better life for themselves.  Are there people out there who have no goals or aspirations in life?  I find it really hard to believe that people can just be content to live on the bare minimum and not have a social life or other interests.

I think I’m starting to drift apart from them now.  I don’t know whether it’s the fact that I’m working long hours or whether my ‘lust for life’ and my eagerness to succeed that sets me apart from them.  I’m not sure whether I should speak to my friends about this.  Don’t get me wrong I’m usually a very vocal sort of person and will be honest with people (I’m told sometimes I can be too honest!), but with this situation I don’t know whether to talk it over with them or just don’t call anymore.  I think it might be a bit too harsh for them if I tell them that we no longer have anything in common and I can’t listen to them whine about their life when they do nothing about it.  Maybe I could word that better, but thats the harsh reality of it!

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll come to a decision eventually.  If it takes me a little time I’m sure my friends won’t mind.  They certainly don’t seem to mind not speaking to me from time to time.  Or is that it?  Am I the problem?

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